(THIS)functional Podcast

The First Smutty Reading

*** WARNING! ADULT CONTENT***
So, as you all know, April has been pushing Jimmie to become an erotic novel writer guy… well, here’s your first taste of his efforts! 

Keep in mind… it sucks! It’s filthy and feels rushed, but it’s a great brainstorming for things to come! Hop on and listen and let us know what you think/ send criticism so that Jimmie can get better, grow as a writer and ultimately, turn you all on! 

As always, we f**kin love you! 

Yo Dude! What That D**k Doin?”

If you listen to this episode, it’ll ruin your life! You fall in love with us and become completely unproductive for the rest of your day! 

We’ve warned you! If you choose to carry on, we’re getting raw and open about our lives, views and marriage in general. We open up Reddit and give our “advise” on some posts that have to do with sex and relationships.

We’re having a lot of fun being this open and vulnerable and we’re stoked to bring you along for the ride!

 

We f**kin love you! 

Jimmie’s Becoming A Writer!

This week, we have a lovely marriage therapy session for the first part of the show. We talk (argue) about celebrity deaths, Jimmie’s heart attack and past near death experiences and much more!

Then we start talking about what Jimmie will be writing about. SMUT baby, SMUT! April tries to help figure out an angle, but it’s very apparent that we need some help.

So, listen in and let’s party! 

We f*ckin love you! 

Roman Empire, Shmoman Shmempire!

What’s your Roman Empire? You’ve all seen those memes and videos of people being asked how many times a day men think about the Roman Empire… for us, the answer is ZERO! But, we do have some thoughts that repeat daily.

We talk about the things that ravage our minds more often than not. Surprisingly, Jimmie gets more deep than intended and we just laugh at ourselves and try to navigate this crazy world.

 
We want to hear about what you think about way too often, that you probably don’t NEED to be obsessing over. 

Tell us! We want to know!! 

We On That Rant Train, Baby!

Listen… we’re all sick of how things are going in this world, right? How the newer generations are wildin’ and acting like a bunch of p*ssies… but, it’s our fault. THAT’S RIGHT!!! It’s ALLLLL our faults. 

We’re ranting, laughing and overall apologizing for not raising the new club of misfits with an iron fist, or at least a little more “umph” then we have been. 

We talk about being an example, kids, adults that act like kids, how to handle a meltdown and of course, we throw in the fun and sexual innuendos like a couple of adolescent hoodlums. 

Listen in and let us know what your opinion on it all is! We want to hear about your world and the tantrums that you put up with from kids, or adult toddlers that you encounter.

 

Anyway, we f**kin’ love you! 

Are April And Jimmie Making Lifestyle Moves?

Happy t*tty Tuesday, er’body! On todays episode, we… well, we talk about ALOT! We recap the vocabulary lesson from last week from our 19yr old youth correspondent, Kaylee and realize all too quickly that we… just can’t. 

We talk about weird fascinations with horrible things, breasts, our threesome experiences, how we’ve grown individually and as a couple, planning a poly lifestyle and much more!

Jimmie enlightens April on such things as sexy quarterbacks, southern Utah swinger parties, Reddit and April tells Jimmie that ceiling fans have a reverse button. WHAT?! 

Anyway, tune in to laugh along with us and as always, BE F**KIN’ AWESOME and we f**kin’ love you crazy kids! 

Keeping Up With The Youths

On todays spectacular, we dive into the ridiculous world of the youths. Specifically the new lingo that we're all abused with on a daily basis. We have our 19 year old Youth Correspondent, Kaylee, come up with a list of vocabulary words that are frequently heard now-a-days and we try our best to figure out what the EFF they are talking about! Do we find out? No, we'll get the answers in next weeks episode to see if we could decipher this new language.

Other than that... as always, there's laughs and uncomfortable, possibly offensive language of our own throughout, so sit back... relax and enjoy the laughs along with us.

As always, we effing love you!

”I’m Gonna Throw My Chewbacca Into Your Sarlacc Pit!” (Actual phrase said during love making)

What else can you expect from us? We start with a bunch of nonsense and we talk about sex along the way. It just happens. 

This episode dives into a lot of different things, but focuses on the differences in dudes and chicks when it comes to getting down in the bedroom. We’re just different beings and each deserves to be done the way we NEED to be done. 

This is the relatable stuff that everyone should hear and weigh in on. Maybe we’re wrong, but probably not!

Thanks for listening and pass us along to your pals! They need to be f**kin awesome the MOST! We love you! 

Nonsense, Dead Dads and… Nonsense

Dude… we go off the RAILS on this one! This episode is the very embodiment of “if you don’t laugh, you cry.” We went into this weeks show with an agenda and we didn’t even come CLOSE to sticking with the idea.

Tune in to listen about Baby Fight Club, unread classic literature, dead Dads, what to charge to rate your coworkers junk and just, ya know… a LOT of laughter. 

Serious nonsense. That’s the best description we can give. Love you!

Pet Names For Privates

Man… this episode is whacky! We talk about everything from evolution to pet names for our privates to bedroom toys and beyond! I’d say it’s party time, but the party is for a multitude of different types of parties! 

So, let’s party, people! Be F’n Awesome and join us for the ride! Kisses!